Today was my first day back at work since the ER visit and I took it slow. I did not go to my actual office, since that's up six flights of stairs in a building without an elevator, but stayed in easily accessible buildings. I did maybe a half day in all, and that was plenty. My word, I'm still tired out.
I spoiled myself for Steve's storyline in Endgame, just so that I would know if I could handle seeing it or not. I can handle it. So now I just need to stop coughing long enough to be able to go and not be a pain in anyone else's behind.
10 People Who are Definitely Not Superman by orphan_account
AU where Lois works for Buzzfeed and Clark is her nerdy intern. ADORABLE.
Always Someone Better by lowflyingfruit
What Jason hadn't known when Batman scooped him off the streets was how much it sucked to be the second and second-best child. Five times Jason felt inferior to Dick, and a reversal he didn't savour like he thought he would. What it says on the tin. Oh Jason.
Another Perfect Catastrophe by Mikimoo & pentapus
Dick and Jason go undercover to stop a kidnapping ring and things get out of hand. This is a lot of fun but heed the warnings.
behind the fog by CaptainOzone
On his first visit to Gotham, Damian discovers Dick in the Court of Owls, and resolves to help him escape when asked. Oh heart.
Days and Nights by Loxare
Damian and Jason spend some time together. Lovely.
Ensemble Performance by lowflyingfruit
Damian has a deep, dark secret he needs kept from Grayson, his father, and most of all Drake, at all costs: he has, quite unwillingly, been volunteered for a part in his school's annual musical. As a grouchy dinosaur.
This is now Jason's problem. Or his blackmail opportunity. Whichever. This is ADORABLE.
A Good Place by LemonadeGarden
Damian gets sent back in time to when Bruce is just starting out as Batman. They both have some adjusting to do. I enjoyed this a lot.
Gray Ghost #1000 by jerseydevious
Bruce lets his secret nerd flag fly when the 1000th issue of Gray Ghost is released. Oh heart.
How to Bother a Batman by incogneat_oh
Robins! And terrible puns! Two great tastes that taste great together! Hilarity! <333
life, if well lived by CaptainOzone
Jason wakes up from a time-travel mishap to find Thomas and Martha Wayne hovering over him. Wonderful. *sobs*
Long John Silver's by jerseydevious
After Steph's father dies, she has a heart to heart with Batman. Or, you know, what passes for one with Bruce.
Muted by CaptainOzone
Dick explains to Jason just where Robin came from. Oh heart. The show really missed the opportunity to do this, and this story fills the gap. (Titans)
Neverland by Hinn_Raven
the one where Robin!Jason comes forward in time and does not like what he finds. Oh Jason. Oh my heart.
Ornaments by haunt_the_stars
Bruce is thrilled to have all five of his kids under his roof for Christmas for the first time, but he's still not quite sure how to handle Jason. Luckily, they figure it out. <333
Quarter past midnight by Aaren
Jason digs himself out of his grave and rebuilds his life in Gotham, becoming a nurse and wondering if he'll ever get his memories back, and then one day, he runs into Batman. <333
Queen of Hearts by Irony_Rocks
Smart, thoughtful examination of Barbara Gordon during the Invasion arc of (animated) Young Justice.
Rain by kuzujuk
Quiet, melancholy look at Damian as he tries to be a good son and a good Robin.
Rebirth by Ionaperidot
AU where Talia makes a little family with Damian and Jason instead of sending Jason off to be trained.
Safe Space by Cerusee
Bruce takes care of Jason. Jason takes care of Bruce. *sniffle*
Second Generation by lowflyingfruit
Long, emotional story that shows how Dick almost falls apart when Tarantula drops one final bombshell on him, and how the family pulls together to help.
Simple Gifts by Cerusee
Jason's first Father's Day with Bruce and Alfred goes even better than he'd hoped. *sobs* and a brief post-UTRH sequel.
Sleepless in Gotham by audreycritter
Selina Kyle has a habit of creeping into Bruce's house through a window, and in her defense, it's never really been a problem before.
But tonight, just about everything goes wrong. this is hilarious.
some of you weren't raised to be assassins and it shows by drakefeathers
Cass and Damian adopt a grown undead Talon!Dick before Bruce can change his mind and adopt him first. AU where the Court of Owls got to Dick before Bruce did, but when he defects rather than kill Damian, the Bats are there to help him out.
Stubborn by audreycritter
The one where the Batboys take care of each other, reluctantly at first, but with a slow thawing. Oh heart.
Swimming with the Fishes by WatchTheAntagonist
Damian has a unique way of expressing gratitude. With the Bats, it's only a matter of time before this spirals out of control. this is ADORABLE.
Talon's Grasp by lowflyingfruit
Dick Grayson was kidnapped by the Court of Owls. Talon escaped. With no known way to undo what has been done, and the Court trying to reclaim their assassin, is there still a place for Nightwing in Gotham? Is there still a place for Dick in the family? Long, compelling read in which Dick has to fight back against the brainwashing and the Batfam has to learn to accept who he is now. (I feel like I needed a little more Dick and Jason interaction here, given the givens, but I always feel that)
Thanksgiving at the Kents by cylobaby27
Clark convinces Diana to come to the farm for Thanksgiving, and Diana finally gets the chance to meet Bruce's kids.
There are far more of them than she had expected. This is a really lovely look at Diana meeting the Batkids (JLU, I think).
That One Hug Meme by incogneat_oh
20K of various Batboys giving each other hugs. ♥♥♥
Particle of Light by domarzione
Nice look at Maria after the events of Captain Marvel.
so lucky, so strong, so proud by ProfessorSpork
Gwen jumps, and when she turns around, Peter B. Parker is standing awkwardly in the bedroom doorway. It's been a long time since anyone managed to sneak up on Gwen, but all she feels is that she's surrounded by Peter—no wonder her spider-senses didn't warn her. "Hey. Um. Sorry, I'm—totally snooping."
"It's okay," Peter shrugs, slouching against the door frame. "It's not my stuff."
He's got a point. This is so good, like being punched repeatedly in all my Spidey-feels. I sobbed my face off. #i'm not crying you're crying
wayfaring strangers by cosmicocean
Where Nebula and Tony build a ship to get to Earth and awkwardly talk about their issues when neither of them are particularly good at that. Tony and Nebula and the long, slow trip back to earth. Lovely and melancholy.
shine bright by dollsome
She wanted to sort out the tangle of feelings and turn them into something comforting and true. That Rory might veer toward suckiness sometimes, but it was literally impossible for her to be worthless. That she glowed with some constant, inexplicable magic, like Claire Danes in the movie about the star. When her husband decided he was going to be a creative writer, Paris's heart had no trouble switching right off, but when Rory decided to do it, Paris's heart was nothing but all in, ready to fight the world to help Rory make that dream come true. Probably best not to examine that. Lovely, post A Year in the Life Paris/Rory.
Rivers of London
The Woman Who Ran with Wolves by drekadair
Peter and Nightingale are called to the Epping Forest to investigate a potential werewolf and discover a missing woman, a family shattered by grief, and a case that hits far too close to home. Melacholy case-fic. Nicely done.
Miss Me by runawaynun
Miss Chrisjen Avasarala with your bullshit. This is AMAZING, as is befitting of Chrisjen Avasarala and her epic badassery.
Last night, I had a lovely dinner with innie_darling and tenaciousmetoo and also had a really delicious cocktail - I don't remember what it was called but it had Stoli blueberry (who knew that was even a thing?), some kind of grapefruit (pamplemousse!) liqueur, some kind of blood orange liqueur, lime juice and honey on the rocks. It was also a bright purpley blue (or bluish purple), which makes it even better (though it did not, sadly, turn my tongue a cute purpley blue, but you can't have everything). *g*
Work keeps interrupting, so here's today's poem:
We regretted the way to joy had been a labyrinth
of our making, where from interiors we'd made our way
further inside toward endings we could recognize
and turn back from. We'd invented the pocket labyrinth,
we trained our dogs to bark when we said speak,
we offered one another jewelry. But when the geckos
came inside for moths who'd found our lamps,
the joy we felt was magical, a violence of gentleness
apart from us that might revisit any night. Rare animals
are pink; small moths like these had changed to dust
while dying in the past. So it was terror kept awake in joy
that we began to feel rummaged by: there were
photographs of grandparents as youths,
there were fetishes: a fox, white in the face
where the stone was white, a bird made from a shell,
and a mole was carved from clearest quartz to magnify
the uselessness of sight. We could be struck dumb
by a small box made entirely of cloves and thread,
or by the relicarios where saints had been preserved
in two-inch portraits that were assemblages of feathers;
there were evenings the sky was lavender
and we were lost, there were dreams that recurred,
there was the same love you have now, and we were lost.
Cheerfully nuts, but controlled—mostly. Seven extraordinary infants are adopted by an eccentric scientist and trained to fight...crime? Robots? Threats from outer space? Super villains? Alien super villains? Robots? It's not super clear, but you get the gist. This world also has hyper-intelligent chimpanzees and a moon base, so it's got some science fiction elements to it while still having a retro feel, and I like the resultant mood, a kind of nostalgic futurism. The art does a lot of fun stuff with this in the background.
I love the character design, especially that of 1 and 5. The proportions of Spaceboy's Martian ape body are very pleasing to me. That huge chest and the tiny legs and head. I can't get enough of it. The art has an old school feel, reminiscent of Dave Gibbons's work in Watchmen—again with the background details—though Stewart's colors are much more rich and layered. The storytelling reminds me of Alan Moore, too, though with more of an early Promethea feel.
I'm interested in what this is doing (especially Séance—more of him please) and where it's going, except, under all the flash and primates, it's just another comic book filled with white dudes. The Indian manservant (very Wes Anderson and not in a good way) isn't even named in the text and if he speaks at all, it's to provide directions. And then there are the women. All three of them. Because women only make up 30% of the population, right? This is why you have to manufacture your own out of dress forms and wheels. Then Vanya, who isn't given near enough motivation to destroy the world, by the way, spends most of the book naked. She's introduced to us naked (as a baby) then again (as an adult) while wearing a thong and sitting with her legs spread. We see so much of her ass. Especially later when she's redesigned to be naked all the time. If you're going to be like that, where's the male nudity? Also there's a bigger question about the kind of violence done against the female characters in this book and how it compares to the injuries sustained by the men.
Still I did enjoy this and want to know more. I'll be reading the next volume.
Contains: blood, dead bodies, exploding heads, violence, dub-con body mod, dub-con kiss, mind control.
Here is a tweet with screenshots of the article: Queerness and Death in the Magicians. It also looks like a PDF is up at the discord: https://twitter.com/coldwaughtersq/
Note: this will definitely help settle the drama, by the way. That'll work.
ETA (7:30 PM CST): so that thread was deleted and so was my RT of it. Here's another one: https://twitter.com/thelaynierizer/
ETA (7:59 PM CST): Full article now available on tumblr: https://three--rings.tumblr.com/post/
So What, Tortilla? (this was the one that started me off; So What, Tortilla? should totally be a band)
Hermit At A Price
Earful In Effect
Hansom Cab Motif
Top Drawer Intro
That is a LOT of band names to get from just one crossword, is all I'm saying.
(Disclaimer: in some instances, I switched the order, in the interests of rhythm.)
Haaaai! I am totally working on my 520 Day assignment today, and not spamming my flist with random stuff! TOTALLY!
I also got a surprise extra payment from work today because they are changing the PTO policy and paying out all banked PTO in excess of a certain number of hours and I exceed that number by a bit, so I got a nice check, but the net is only half of what the gross is, thanks to taxes and other payroll deductions. Sigh. And they say I will still accrue my usual amount of PTO, but I wonder what the new policy is going to be - I have a feeling they are going to limit carryover time, or perhaps require that it be used by the end of the first quarter of the next year. I guess we'll see. There's other work bs happening too, but ugh. I do not want to attend a half day meeting to input updates in real time. That is not one of my skill sets and the whole thing is going to be terrible. I wonder if they'll buy me lunch though.
speaking of, I got a nice gift card for Administrative Professionals Day today that I was supposed to pretend I didn't know about even though boss3 checked with me to see if people had liked it last year (spoiler: they had). It's also my dad's birthday, and my gmail inbox is full of advertisements for mother's day so I just want to be all LEAVE ME ALONE - MY PARENTS ARE DEAD about things. I know, I know. But it's how I feel.
Anyway, I guess it's reading Wednesday, but since I was off Thurs-Mon, I didn't really do much book-reading; I spent my days off reading fic instead, so I have nothing new to report. Still reading Amnesty, still ( spoilers )
Meanwhile, my filters grow tighter and my blacklist longer as I try to stay unspoiled until Saturday when I finally see Endgame. I do not want to know!
Also, I am still annoyed that there is no ability to wrap tabs in Firefox. I really hate that they just scroll off screen. It is not optimal when I open a dozen stories to read later and then can't find the tab looking for at any given moment.
Have a poem:
The Price Is Going Up
by Ashe Vernon
My heart likes to start fights with
the inside of my ribs where everyone loses.
For weeks, my lungs have been
purple punching bags. My stomach
is being polished into a wood panel floor.
I'm selling tickets to my own heartbreak.
Blood and broken noses are what put
bodies in the seats.
These are real bar brawls, ladies and gentlemen.
Nothing is staged, here. Sure,
there have been a few–
The kind of hits you don't get back up from.
But that's the price of business, isn't it?
And don't you want a show?"
What a performance this whole bronchitis thing has been!
FanCrush (2018) from china shop on Vimeo.
ETA: The cartoon illustrations are by my partner.
Important: Linking back here is fine, but please don't re-post this!
(Note: I automatically answered "1" to the original poll, because that's the number of pillows I have under my head at any given time while I'm sleeping. HOWEVER:
a. I sometimes switch pillows in the middle of the night (from my wheat pillow, which is like a giant wheatpack, to a softer, more standard but still mouldable pillow).
b. More relevantly, I actually sleep with four pillows: one under my head; two folded in half and tied up with string, stuffed into the foot of the bed to make a kind of pillowfort for my feet; and one lying flat under the covers, about halfway down my side, for my knee to rest on if I want to bend my leg.
c. I keep about seven pillows on my bed, in total.
The foot pillowfort is dorky but incredibly comfortable. I started doing it ages ago when the weight of the blankets on my feet was aggravating my sore knees, and now I can't go back. I heat the space with a hot water bottle before I get into bed.)
( Cut so you don't have to scroll past the answers. )
Very little eyeball reading (but I do need to feedback some fic that I read on my Kindle -- note to self!). In audiobook, the boy and I started Not Forgetting the Whale by John Ironmonger, which is really bringing home to me how much I'm used to inclusiveness in my reading matter (thank you, Ben Aaronovitch, among many others). By which I mean, it seems very straight and white so far. Also, I'm not sure I can actually handle 13 hours of omniscient POV. But two members of my family recced it to me, so we'll forge on for now, if only so I can discuss it with them.
Episode 4 of Black was, if you'll forgive the obvious, SUPER-DARK. ( Warnings for... ) Unfortunately, the story-telling was a little clunky, which made all the awfulness worse. I'm not tapping out yet, but... maybe I should be.
Thirty but Seventeen, otoh, is really sweet, and very much in the genre of fluffy slowburn G-rated romance, with a dash of angst and several dollops of farce, plus found family, cohabitation, and mistaken identity. It has the distinction of the female lead getting to act immature and mildly goofy (as opposed to other timeslip/bodyswap shows I've seen (or even Chief Kim) where it was always the guys), and I'm enjoying that a lot.
I also recently grabbed The Best Hit because it has Buja the zombie from Hwayugi in it, so that's in the line-up at some point too.
We watched the available episodes of Killing Eve season 2 and are now waiting impatiently for more.
I am starting to get flaily and/or slightly horrified by the Amount of Meta I Am Missing! What if there are Important Insights I Need To Know? And yet, trying to keep up and have coherent thoughts at people and absorb All The Knowledge is not a recipe for stress-free fun, for me, so I guess I'll continue on my merry, haphazard way, hope for the best, and continue to be grateful for wonderful betas.
(I mean, I'm not even managing coherent thoughts on, like, regular posts, let alone actual discussions.)
Anyway, the magical whirligig continues, and I love it! And in theory, now I've posted Once Upon a Time in Dixing, I can move on to episode 7 in my rewatch
We Netflixed the Gina Rodriguez film Someone Great. It was kind of like Russian Doll but 10 years younger, with more focus on friendships, and without the Groundhog Day aspect... if that leaves anything? (New York, parties and drugs, mostly.) I particularly liked the lesbian best friend played by DeWanda Wise ( though that came back to bite me when [SPOILER] ) Anyway, she was otherwise great and it was charming and yay films about female friend groups. \o/
I managed to earworm myself with an Aaron Neville song just by using really quite an innocuous phrase as a fic title. It's been hanging around for days now!
Ot1h, I feel vaguely apologetic about how spammy I've been with the fic lately; otoh, no one should ever apologise for fic (except possibly to their betas, who might have other things they want to do with their time *sends trobadora a gift basket of gratitude*)! So I won't. I'm having so much fun -- this is very definitely the steroidal silver lining. In particular, Once Upon a Time in Dixing is my favourite thing I've written in ages, so it's very very happy-making that other people like it too. *chairdances*
Anyway, the steroid-fuelled writing can't last. I'm expecting an equal and opposite reaction when I drop down to 10mg early next week (ie, no words at all for a while, or very few, meep!) so I need to lock myself away in a tower NOW until I've got a complete draft of my 520 Day exchange assignment. Argh. I keep psyching myself out about it.
- 520 Day exchange assignment.
Something for the Amnesty round on fan_flashworks (possibly the super-powered smut I currently have at beta because apparently tentacles weren't enough?)Done and posted \o/!
- WIP #2 (which I swear is going to be SO GREAT if only I can finish it! you should all be telling me off when I write anything else!)
I heard from my favourite language exchange friend and wrote her a long email in reply, and it turns out that's still something I can do, so that was pleasing.
Life/health/mental state things
Quote from email: I was so sure I would get cleaning done once I was on steroids. Instead it's just a firehose of words and/or feelings and/or socially inept mopiness.
I feel like I'm hurtling downhill on a unicycle, while eating a lot of cake.1
1 The unicycle is a metaphor; the cake is literal cake.
Waterbeds used to be a thing! It seems SO WEIRD in retrospect, right? Like, why would you sleep on a giant water balloon? Why have a bed that's rendered unusable by a power cut? What were people thinking?!
A couple of good friends came to town over the long weekend. I went to the City Art Gallery with one of them, where there were several installations that seemed (to my biased eye) relevant to my fannish interests. For example, the colourful video visualisation of seismic data made me go, "This is absolutely what the inside of Ye Zun's pillar looked like for 10,000 years!" And the video of solar activity looked so much like spaceships and magic Hallows energy and... in the end, it's all Guardian.
(I think I managed to converse with my out-of-town friends without talking all over them and boring them with obscure references to Cdramas? Mostly?)
Also: The boy. Cats. Fic. Cake. The way Zhao Yunlan smiles at Shen Wei.
What kind of bed?
slat base with inner-sprung mattress
bed of nails
bed of roses
bed of lettuce
How many pillows?
more than 3
Anyway, I've thrown Mucinex at it (until the side-effects became unpleasant), ibuprofen, Tylenol, an albuterol inhaler, and some essential oils. I'm also taking Allegra for allergies, so hopefully that's helping somewhere in the mix? And tonight I plan to make a chicken soup with lots of ginger, jalapenos, and lime, which I hope will aid and abet things. In the meantime I'm sitting around, wheezing, with my lungs sounding like they're full of pop rocks on every exhale.
Thank you so much to the folks who helped me out with the situation in my last email! I am working on a story thank you, which I hope to polish up and have out this coming weekend. My lawyers have filed a counter petition on the issue of the mortgage, and lead me to believe this is all very common and I don't need to worry. I worry, still, but it helps to have a lawyer.
I'm trying to decide when and if to see Endgame this weekend. It may be a moot point, because if I'm still coughing like this, I won't go - I would be the worst movie goer if I inflicted this on other people while they're trying to lose themselves in a film. But if I'm better? I was going to seek out all the spoilers and then go see it, but I'm increasingly thinking I should just go and get it over with. (siria inquired this weekend if I meant rip it off like band aid, and I said, no, like a Brazilian wax.)
My neighbor is having a new deck put on her house, which is a very lovely thing for my neighbor! I am less enamored of all the circular-saw work going on because oh, it would be nice to nap :D
There is still so much I want to say about all of it, but my thoughts won't organize themselves sufficiently. Read cleolinda; lots of commentary and links.
I do, however, want to comment eventually on the less-loaded topic of bad storytelling, which was also a factor here.
But there's also this: any hack on earth can write tragedy. Devastating your audience is the easiest thing in the world.
You know what's hard? Blowing their minds with sheer joy. Shock them by giving them what they didn't even know they could want. I think I can count the times on one hand where a show managed that. To get it, you have to work for it.
I don't get--I'll never get--why anyone on earth would do the second--would manage the fucking impossible--but in the end, only care about, only take pride in, only value doing the first.
Our revels now are ended. These our actors,
As I foretold you, were all spirits and
Are melted into air, into thin air:
And, like the baseless fabric of this vision,
The cloud-capp'd towers, the gorgeous palaces,
The solemn temples, the great globe itself,
Yea, all which it inherit, shall dissolve
And, like this insubstantial pageant faded,
Leave not a rack behind. We are such stuff
As dreams are made on, and our little life
Is rounded with a sleep.
From The Tempest, Act 4 Scene 1
*( cut for more detailed work ranting )
So during my time off, I was reading this long, plotty (and complete!) Bat-fic, which will be recced at some point, and I know this is more about my personal bias than the story, but ( cutting for spoilers even though I'm not linking to it right now ) It's just interesting to be reminded that we all bring our own lenses to stories and it's not the stories' fault, necessarily, when the author is doing something different from what we thought because of those lenses.
Things That Go Bump In The Night (9278 words) by mochroimanam
Fandom: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Noah Czerny & Richard Gansey III & Ronan Lynch & Adam Parrish & Blue Sargent, Ambiguous or Implied Relationship(s), Ronan Lynch/Adam Parrish
Characters: Noah Czerny, Blue Sargent, Richard Gansey III, Adam Parrish, Ronan Lynch
Additional Tags: Elements of Horror, Halloween, Haunted Houses, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Ghosts, Campy, Buffy-esque, Past Violence, Scooby-esque
Summary: Subtitle: The real ghosts are the friends we made along the way! The gang goes to a Halloween haunted house attraction, only to find that things are a bit more....realistic...than expected.
Bookmarker's Notes: Spooky Halloween fun, filled with love and friendship. Everybody gets a chance to do their thing and the OT5 are out in full force.
Heavenly Wine and Roses (4484 words) by orphan_account
Fandom: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Richard Gansey III/Blue Sargent, Ronan Lynch/Adam Parrish
Characters: Richard Gansey III, Blue Sargent, Ronan Lynch, Adam Parrish, Noah Czerny
Additional Tags: absolutely not kissing, Coming In Pants, gratuitous use of ganseyface, gansey does not have anything under control even slightly
Summary: Gansey has everything under control.
Bookmarker's Notes: Burningly hot. The sequel to Roses on Parade.
Terroir (3644 words) by jouissant
Fandom: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Relationships: Richard Gansey III/Ronan Lynch
Characters: Richard Gansey III, Ronan Lynch, Noah Czerny
Additional Tags: Frottage, Drinking, First Time
Summary: "He dreamed up some booze," Noah said. "I don't know, maybe you should go up there."
Bookmarker's Notes: Yeah, you could just slip this right into the third book, and then keep on going. The writing is as quick and clever as Stiefvater's, and then there's Gansey, trying to take care of everybody, as usual. Funny, sexy, and just the right amount of creepy.
Ways To Give
merpancake is raising funds to help keep her family in their rental; they are struggling on one income while trying to get disability help for her husband, and they are unexpectedly pregnant. Currently they are trying to make a month's rent and get current on bills; you can read more and help out here.
iamshadow21 linked to a fundraiser for Bill Mantlo, a comic book writer and co-creator of Rocket Raccoon and Cloak and Dagger, who has been in care since a hit and run left him with a permanent brain injury nearly thirty years ago. His younger brother, who has been the primary supporter of his care, is retired and would like to bring Bill home from the institution he has been in for a decade; unfortunately he is in nearly $100K of debt and needs funding to help out. You can read more and help out here.
typewrittenwolf is fundraising to save their house from code enforcement liens and possible issues with the bank; both they and their parents are disabled, making earning the money difficult. You can give through ko-fi here or purchase off their amazon wishlist here.
ellie-elizabeth21 is a disabled, nonbinary person fundraising to leave an unsafe household where they are being harassed by their landlord and dealing with an abusive parent. You can read more, reblog, and find a link to donate here.
Anon linked to a fundraiser for top surgery for Krysta, an agender person whose fundraiser has been stagnant for the last few months. You can read more and support the fundraiser here.
ravenreyamidala linked to a fundraiser the Magicians fandom created after a controversial death of a character in the most recent season finale. They are raising awareness about harmful television tropes and also raising money for LGBTQ+ youth support foundation The Trevor Project, including holding an online auction. You can get more information and see all the latest updates at thankqforthehope or give directly through their Trevor Project fundraising page.
thewalrus-said's beloved cat was unexpectedly hospitalized recently with as-yet unidentified stomach problems, and they are fundraising to cover vet bills and fees. The upper end of the estimate is $3.4K, not counting whatever treatment she may need once the problem is diagnosed. You can read more and reblog here or give directly through paypal here.
Anon linked to fundraiser for deadcatwithaflamethrower and drougnor, who are fundraising for rent for their family after Droug lost his job. You can read and reblog fundraising links here, see and purchase jewelery for sale here, or give through her Ko-Fi or paypal. They also have a wishlist here, as a couple of family birthdays are coming up.
Katy linked to a fundraiser for grrlcookery and her partner, who need help to keep their home as her partner's business hasn't had any orders or contracts in the past two months and they are currently facing eviction. They're raising $1500 for two months of rent and food, and also to set up a shed for soapmaking to help earn some extra cash. You can read more and reblog here or give through ko-fi here.
And this has been Radio Free Monday! Thank you for your time. You can post items for my attention at the Radio Free Monday submissions form. If you're not sure how to proceed, here is a little more about what I do and how you can help (or ask for help!). If you're new to fundraising, you may want to check out my guide to fundraising here.
I know, it's an exciting life I lead. *hands*
Have today's poem:
Each From Different Heights
That time I thought I was in love
and calmly said so
was not much different from the time
I was truly in love
and slept poorly and spoke out loud
to the wall
and discovered the hidden genius
of my hands
And the times I felt less in love,
less than someone,
were, to be honest, not so different
Each was ridiculous in its own way
and each was tender, yes,
sometimes even the false is tender.
I am astonished
by the various kisses we're capable of.
Each from different heights
diminished, which is simply the law.
And the big bruise
from the long fall looked perfectly white
in a few years.
That astounded me most of all.
Enquiring minds want to know, lol.
So, yesterday I wrote some tentacle porn. Because apparently this is my life now. :-D
~850 words, R-rated, established relationship. Endless thanks to trobadora for beta.
( Entwining )
I got up this morning and made a blueberry cobbler and some whipped cream (pics) and then I ate some for breakfast and it was delicious.
I currently have a ginormous ham in the oven, because when I ordered it, I thought L might be coming for Easter dinner, but she wasn't feeling up to it, so I have a 10lb spiral ham (I thought I was getting something that was 6 or 7 lbs, so you can imagine my surprise when this behemoth showed up) and I guess I'll be eating it for lunch all week in sandwiches, and with eggs and in fried rice and I'm sure I'll figure out a couple other ways to eat it. *hands*
Yesterday, I made that peasant bread again and one I left plain - I'll use that for the above ham sandwiches - and the other I added in half a stick of butter mixed with 1 1/2 tablespoons of minced garlic, 1/4 cup of parmesan cheese, and a sprinkle of basil and oregano (pics). I ate it last night for dinner with some fresh mozzarella and it was delicious.
I've actually been writing this weekend, which hadn't happened in a while. Not on any of my wsip of course, but what are you gonna do? Hopefully I'll be able to finish it. I've got three sections left to go.
Anyway, here's today's poem:
Between Going and Staying
by Octavio Paz
Between going and staying the day wavers,
in love with its own transparency.
The circular afternoon is now a bay
where the world in stillness rocks.
All is visible and all elusive,
all is near and can't be touched.
Paper, book, pencil, glass,
rest in the shade of their names.
Time throbbing in my temples repeats
the same unchanging syllable of blood.
The light turns the indifferent wall
into a ghostly theater of reflections.
I find myself in the middle of an eye,
watching myself in its blank stare.
The moment scatters. Motionless,
I stay and go: I am a pause.
Translated by Eliot Weinberger.
I've got one week left at my current co-op work position at the provincial Ombudsperson (a generally cool workplace with some excellent people, a nice breath of fresh air after my last few toxic work environments). And then on May 1st, I start my articling job at a civil litigation firm in Victoria! That's right, not only am I going to be a lawyer, I'm going to stay on Vancouver Island! Just in time, too, since that fucking idiot just got elected in Alberta. I'll go pay taxes (on my hopefully someday-substantial income) someplace else, thanks. Forty years of cronyism and scandals was already more than enough and I don't need a resurgence in homophobic policy in 2019 as the cherry on top.
Anyway. Work! My principal is super laid-back, I know and like 3 of the lawyers there already from working with them all previously (one is a former classmate of mine and we did the same clinical term; the other two used to work for the same lawyer I've been moonlighting for since January last year) and the law firm has like 20 lawyers, so I'm going into a good environment to fill in the gaps in my knowledge and figure out what I want my own practice to look like. And I get health benefits! That was surprising. Three cheers for large law firms.
In creative news, I've done fuck-all writing this year so far. Even though my current job has been good hours-wise (public service schedules can't really be beat), it still took me a long time to stop being tired at the end of the day/on weekends. In fact, I didn't really have energy until like March. I think that was when I finally recovered from fucking law school and was done feeling exhausted from it. And then, finding a job finally at the end of March was a load off. Recently, I've probably had the energy to write but my evenings and especially my weekends have been taken up by the lawyering work I keep getting. I've had two files since last weekend and I'm currently like half-done both of them. Sigh. My tutoring/editing client is also defending her dissertation on Tuesday, finally, and naturally has slid back into my inbox with more edits for me in the last couple weeks. She also asked if I can do a last pass on her dissertation next weekend before she submits the final version on the 30th. Siiiiigh.
I just keep reminding myself about my student loans and how I get paid for all this time I'm spending on unfun things, which will then leave me with lots of money to throw at my loans when it's time to pay my grace-period interest in the fall. I decided after the Alberta election that I should probably concentrate that payment more on the Alberta part of my loans, so that I'm giving the UCP less loan-interest revenue. :) :) :) If we'd elected the NDP, I might have gotten the interest waived! But no. Sucks to your ass-mar, Kenney!
I am one of those who is debating doing a de-rec of the show. Below cut, trigger warnings and spoilers for those who are still unspoiled.
( triggers )
I know this sounds dramatic, I know it's not rational, but I'm not rational right now, and it's bothering me enough to put it here.
I recced this show for a lot of reasons, but one of them was for how it handled mental illness and how much work they put into doing it well, showing both short- and long-term consequences and ongoing issues. To anyone who watched because of those recs, I'm so sorry.
I was immensely sad at the beginning of this week over the fire at Notre-Dame, which while not the northern French medieval cathedral nearest to my heart (yes, I'm that kind of history nerd), I do still have a great affection for. The thoughts that we were within 15-30 minutes of losing it entirely are sickening—and of course, although the firefighters did a heroic job in pulling it back from the brink, we're not out of the woods yet. (As the stones cool and dry, they're going to become extremely friable and prone to crumbling, there's a strong chance the north and west gables could collapse without the counteracting force of the roof weight, etc.) It's going to take a lot of work before anyone can even contemplate rebuilding it.
The week has ended on a happier note, though. I'm visiting sheafrotherdon for a few days as part of a work thing, so we've had a lot of good conversations and drunk a lot of tea. It has been lovely!
Anyway. April's rolled around yet again, so here's the annual AO3 meme.
( Annual AO3 Meme )
I'm having a mood theme yard sale, in case you have a paid account and want a mood theme I downloaded sometime during the early 2000s.
While messing around with my own mood theme, I rediscovered the page where you can check out the overall mood of the entire site.
Over on fancake, I recced Once Upon a (Prescription) Mattress, by that_which, a fairytale-inspired Stargate Atlantis fic with a great voice.
And this week's AO3 bookmark recs are in Captive Prince, Macdonald Hall, and His Dark Materials—all book fandoms!
Over on gluten_free, I talked up parchment paper—specifically the parchment paper muffin cups I won't bake without—and now we're on an egg-free kick.
by Cecilia Woloch
Didn’t I stand there once,
white-knuckled, gripping the just-lit taper,
swearing I’d never go back?
And hadn’t you kissed the rain from my mouth?
And weren’t we gentle and awed and afraid,
knowing we’d stepped from the room of desire
into the further room of love?
And wasn’t it sacred, the sweetness
we licked from each other’s hands?
And were we not lovely, then, were we not
as lovely as thunder, and damp grass, and flame?
all I need to know
PG-rated, established relationship, no particular spoilers; also for kiezh's prompt: Shen Wei. "No. I won't."
Summary: Three months of mutually investigating each other, occasionally crossing over into actual B&E and/or stalking, and Shen Wei decides to enforce his boundaries now, when they’re finally together?
And just now I finished and posted the Cave fic I've been working on most of the week:
Once Upon a Time in Dixing
~5,900 words, G-rated, Shen Wei/Zhao Yunlan, caper fic/identity porn, canon divergence AU set during episode 6. (Spoilers to ep 40.) No warnings apply. Also for solo's prompt: Shen Wei. "There's an app for that." (I cheated slightly.) With much thanks to trobadora for beta. <3
Summary: “Chief Zhao.” Shen Wei turns to the man who was and will one day be again his indomitable brother in arms, his lover and his friend. “I need you to stage a jailbreak.”
I had SO MUCH FUN writing that last one. The silver lining of being on steroids is that my brain gets super cracky! :-D
*twirls and twirls and goes to do the dishes*
One of the fun things about a paid account is being able to upload customized mood themes like it's 1999 (literally—that's when LJ started up), and I just happen to have a MILLION zip files of other people's mood themes saved to my computer.
So, if you're interested, leave a comment and pick a couple; I'll upload the zip files to Mediafire and add the links to this post. Warning: They're all LJ era fandoms, and accordingly some have better resolution than others. Also the pictures vary from tiny to big.
Here's a list: ( look it's the aughts again )
I haven't used moods in such a long time I forgot how...weird the options are. No "helpful" or "useful," no "industrious." Guess I'll go with busy.
The exterminator came also, which is good because last night was like a nightmare in the kitchen. Things had been mostly quiet on the bug front lately, and I guess I got complacent because I was not prepared at all for last night. But I watched him spray the baseboards and put some gel on the lip of the backsplash above the sink where I can't reach, and hopefully that will take care of the problem. There's no food out and the sink is dry after 8 pm, and I wish they would just go away. It's so upsetting.
I also got the laundry done, and I'll fold it tonight while watching the Mets. Yesterday, I caught up on Brooklyn Nine Nine, which was a good choice, because it made me laugh a lot, and then last night's episode made me laugh even more. Everything with Holt was COMEDY GOLD. And Mark Evan Jackson looks amazingly attractive with that beard.
In other news, did you know that jelly shoes are in fashion again? I would like a pair of gold sparkly ones, but I doubt at this point I could wear them comfortably. I lived in them in the early 80s though. And those awful Dr. Scholl's sandals - you know the ones! - before graduating to Candie's.
Anyway, here is today's poem:
All Objects Reveal Something About the Body
by Catie Rosemurgy
Crisp is to the apple what
flexed is to the body.
Being bitten is to the crisp apple
what walking is to the ripe body, but it's more complicated than that:
the apple of the face has been given
to the running juice of the body
and the body, which is often gracious,
makes it shine.
Having a core is to the apple
what having a core is to the body, city, method, circumstance, endeavor.
Having a core is flower-shaped and hurts
in the way that having a shape hurts, which is to say
it hurts ironically, because to have limits
is not just to make a declaration upon a mountainside,
it is also to be the mountainside. Having a flowering core
also hurts in the way that being flower-like always hurts,
which is to say sexually, as if the whole self
has exceeded the skin, which it hasn't, which means
we always seem to be opening but never ever do.
Both these types of suffering color the air
when we pause to have them. The affected atoms
are hard to see amongst the billions
of sofa atoms, newsprint atoms
but, like the illnesses in the crystalline sea, they are there.
Red apple sliced, quartered, salted. Green apple,
alone in the basket.
Anything left on the shelf becomes weak,
suggestible, vulnerable to other shapes, hungry to be refilled
by something other than itself,
a poison apple.
The joining we do with others needs containing.
Imagine the mess. Imagine a finger touching the sack of the heart.
Imagine being stopped, controlled that powerfully.
Imagine nothing like that being possible. Nothing ever stopping you
at the root of the breath. Huge apple.
The world in reference to you. How you move. Time a backdrop.
Or close the other eye: you in reference to the world.
How it varies and happens simultaneously.