![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
merrilyI am bored, and I just read a hideous sex scene, so...
Five Things That Will Make Me Stop Reading A Piece of Fanfic
5. First-person narrative.
4. Mis-spelled words.
3. Clear ignorance of canon (Sirius does not have a doting older sister, his mum is not a nice person, Wash was leery about a pregnancy and Paul Atreides cannot make rain fall.)
2. Use (in sexual situations) of the words vulva, jism, or crack. Bitter seed won't make me run, but I'll think less of you.
1. And the thing that will most reliably prompt me to close a viewer window is:
Introductions that insist on telling us the first and last names of all the characters present, their exact location, the time of year, and details of all circumstances leading to the moment at hand. FER EXAMPLE:
It was autumn at Hogwarts Castle, and Remus Lupin, third-year wizarding student, was lying by himself in a pile of leaves near the edge of the lake, where a giant squid lived. Remus was a healthy fourteen-year old with homosexual urges. He was pining over Sirius Black, his friend and unrequited love. They hadn’t spoken in six months, ever since Sirius had set in motion events which could have led to another student’s death.
“Why did he have to do that?” Remus wondered. “Doesn’t he know I love him? And that werewolves mate for life? And that I am a werewolf?”
Other people! Tell me what makes you scram!
Five Things That Will Make Me Stop Reading A Piece of Fanfic
5. First-person narrative.
4. Mis-spelled words.
3. Clear ignorance of canon (Sirius does not have a doting older sister, his mum is not a nice person, Wash was leery about a pregnancy and Paul Atreides cannot make rain fall.)
2. Use (in sexual situations) of the words vulva, jism, or crack. Bitter seed won't make me run, but I'll think less of you.
1. And the thing that will most reliably prompt me to close a viewer window is:
Introductions that insist on telling us the first and last names of all the characters present, their exact location, the time of year, and details of all circumstances leading to the moment at hand. FER EXAMPLE:
It was autumn at Hogwarts Castle, and Remus Lupin, third-year wizarding student, was lying by himself in a pile of leaves near the edge of the lake, where a giant squid lived. Remus was a healthy fourteen-year old with homosexual urges. He was pining over Sirius Black, his friend and unrequited love. They hadn’t spoken in six months, ever since Sirius had set in motion events which could have led to another student’s death.
“Why did he have to do that?” Remus wondered. “Doesn’t he know I love him? And that werewolves mate for life? And that I am a werewolf?”
Other people! Tell me what makes you scram!
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2006-08-23 06:01 pm (UTC):D
Heh. Kidding. Is there really Dune fic out there, though? I went searching for it after reading and adoring the original trilogy earlier this year, and the search didn't yield much. :(
And I dearly hope that the example is not a direct quote. Though I'm sure there is stuff like that out there in fandom -- I usually try to avert my eyes also, though.
:-)
Date: 2006-08-24 05:30 pm (UTC)I haven't looked for Dune fic, although I'm itching to write a Dune/Firefly crossover. Also, you knew that Frank Herbert wrote five (not three) Dune books, didn't you? Chapterhouse (the last one) is my favourite of them all, and I highly recommend Heretics, too. But you can skip his son's contribution to the 'verse, which are poor imitations of his father's work. I wish they were otherwise, but Frank had a grand vision for ecological allegory and excellent character insight, and his son has neither.
Lastly, no, that introduction is purely my work. :-)
(no subject)
Date: 2006-08-24 10:32 pm (UTC)!!! I thought that Heretics and Chapterhouse were part of that set of worthless novels his son co-wrote -- now I have two more Dune books to read. Apparently I wasn't doing my research well enough. Thank you thank you for enlightening me. :D
I find the ecological aspects of the Dune novels quite interesting, actually. I convinced a few of my friends to read the books; they liked them but looked at me like I was insane when I said I'd read through the appendix.