Punk-Ass Book Jockey

Seth Rogen is starting to look more and more like John Green; that is, like my prototypical nerd boyfriend.* I find it disconcerting... until he talks. Then I remember how much I didn't love his movies, and he gets remarkably less attractive to me, and all is right with the world.

*I do not mean to say that John Green is my boyfriend. I mean to say that everyone I've dated has looked, more or less, like John Green.

I went to a very complicated party last night, and although my hangover has dissipated, I'm still feeling slightly emotionally stunned. It was a high-stakes kind of event--with burlesque--and I learned some stunning pieces of gossip. And then my boots broke, and I took a cab home.

I know it's childish, but faced with the two stunning pieces of gossip (both of which involve past lovers of mine who have made enormous decisions), I want to run away. Right now. I'm lonely, and I'd rather be lonely in Paris.

Has anyone on the flist applied for British citizenship before and could walk me through it? I qualify (my mum was born in Belfast), but the high commissioner's website is extremely confusing and I would like to run away with papers that let me stay until I get bored of being lonely in Paris, not until my three months are up and I have to start dodging immigration people.