White Collar is never going to provide us with this kind of high-quality bizarro fic, let's admit it

[merrily]

Soooo, I've been reading, um, Fandom Wank.

(What? It's Wednesday night, I've been out drinking crappy beer and watching bluegrass bands, and now I am home and kind of tipsy. Nights like this were made for Fandom Wank.)

Anyway, reading about various recent skirmishes has reminded me that one of my very favourite things about SGA was the high quality of the crack. Seriously, if SGA fic was street drugs, 2006 to 2008 would have been like NYC in the 80s.

(Or so I've heard. I was in the Maritimes in the 80s, learning to jump rope. There was no crack ... only cod.)

FOR EXAMPLE, as brought up by a commenter @ FW, there was that fic with surprise!fisting, via Rodney's accidental, alien-tech-made-it-happen, baby-sized fist: Single-Handed by quasar273.

amadi (explaining it to the FW folk): In English, Rodney's hand was cut off, but it was regenerating, like a starfish can grow a new leg. It was still not yet full sized, and he was using it to penetrate John sexually and the fisting followed from that. John was not expecting it, but it was not non-consensual.

AHAHAHAHA.

AHAHA.

But wait! That is not nearly all the cracky fic of crackiness that was written for SGA. For example, do you remember the one where:

Rodney makes the aliens do it? (Missionary Position by trinityofone)

Rodney is a unicorn and John is a rainbow? (But where would they live? by thingswithwings)

They're school supplies? (Stationery Orbit by busaikko)

They really didn't anticipate the ZPM recharge procedure? (We Now Return You To Your Regularly Scheduled Crisis, by siegeofangels)

The whole series about The Littlest Hobo making his way to Atlantis - and obviously being awesome and saving the day? (anagrrl's Travel Light and The Further Adventures of the Littlest Hobo in the Pegasus Galaxy)

Rodney is a teapot? (Short & Stout, by xela_fic)

They get "blessed" with tails? (Happy Tales To You (Until We Meet Again) by leupagus)

Teyla & Ronon move in together, and their cats, John & Rodney, have to sort things out? (When John Met Rodney by bethnyc)

Or any of the other 29 other stories I bookmarked on Delicious as both "crack!fic" and "fic-SGA"?

I feel pretty confident that we can blame at least part of this on David Hewlett.

Please (PLEASE!!!) feel free to leave descriptions of and links to your favourite SGA crack in comments.

Comments

[amadi]

I'm not even a part of this fandom, but I read that story just to be able to explain whether or not it was non-con. *facepalm*

Baby. Hand.

I can't even...

[merrily]

You were doing a fandom civic service! They are important gestures!

Plus, it makes for a pretty excellent anecdote about why SGA is nutso (and also awesome).